Today, I’m recognizing the one year anniversary of a day that really sucked at the time (but which turned out to be kind of amazing). This is a letter to the girl I was on November 16, 2010.
{I painted this self portrait about 6 months before this bad day happened}
Dear Adriana,
Today, you got fired. Totally, completely fired. At 5:30 on a Friday, your boss called you into her office and said things just weren’t working out. You packed up your mugs, and granola bars, and that extra pair of shoes you hid under your desk. Then you left your security badge at the front door, and walked home. I know that now you’re sitting at home, alone and crying. And wondering why you just can’t seem to get this career thing right.
I know that you’re trying to figure out how you could have gotten it so wrong.
After all, you had a good college education, and you had worked hard in so many different cubicles, crunching so many different numbers, and attending so many different meetings. You had thought this is what you had wanted.
Listen up, friend. It’s going to be okay.
In fact, it’s going to be more than okay. In a year you’ll have the best job you’ve ever had, one that’s fulfilling and thrilling and challenging and beautiful. But I’m telling you this now because you still have a very long year ahead. You’re going to do things you never dreamed you could do. You’re going to lean on your friends, face your biggest fears, and screw up. It’s going to be tough and scary, and you’re going to go through more coffee and York Peppermint Patties than is remotely reasonable. But one year from today, you’re going to be writing a blog post at your computer (a new one, by the way, since yours is going to crash in about a month). And you’re going to be feeling nothing but profound gratitude for the totally crappy day you’re having.
Now, if you don’t mind, I want to leave you with a few thoughts about the coming year. You know, advice from an old friend…
After you spend a couple of carb-loaded days wallowing at your parent’s house, one of your oldest friends is going to take you on a walk, and suggest you start a creative business. I know! She must be totally nuts, right? Well, my dear, I think you should listen carefully to what she says. Just listen, and then let it float around your brain for a couple of weeks. Couldn’t hurt, right?
Yes, it’s so scary. By the time December rolls around you’re going to be tentatively, gingerly, delicately testing the waters to see what starting a creative business might be like. Then one day you’re going to put up a website – that’ll be a big step. You totally have my permission to celebrate it, by the way. I remember how scary it is to put your artwork ‘out there’ for the first time, but good things will come of it, I promise.
Speaking of which, I should probably warn you now that you’re going to have plenty of false starts. The first TWO websites you put together are going to be…well…kind of ugly and full of bugs (but you will make a nice website eventually). You’re going to spend a good deal of time reaching out to people who don’t respond, but don’t get discouraged. Really, it’s just all part of the process. Plus, a few people will respond and you’ll start to make connections with other simply amazing women who are running their own creative businesses.
Right there in the middle of winter, money’s going to get a little, er, tight. Don’t panic, friend! It’s going to be a little uncomfortable and yes, quite stressful, but know that you will never be homeless and you will never be hungry. Don’t let your fear of those things change your course.
By the spring, people are going to keep telling you that you’re “living the dream.” And you’re pretty much going to think that they’re crazy…But they’re right, you are living your dream. It’s just very hard to tell right now while you’re in the thick of it. It wouldn’t hurt to take a step back, and just think about all you’ve done in the past few months. I know, it’s so much work, and you have every right to feel overwhelmed, but don’t lose sight of the fact that you’re getting to pick up a paintbrush almost every single day.
The day you sell your first painting, you’re going to be ecstatic. The day you sell your 10th painting you’re going to be ecstatic. The day you sell your 30th painting you’re going to be ecstatic. Never lose your enthusiasm, because it’s celebrating these small (yet, not so small) accomplishments that make this struggle oh-so-worth it.
One last thing I want to tell you before you head off to eat some more chocolate and then start this wonderous year. Along the way, people are going to offer you help and love and support totally out of the blue. I know it’s in your nature to go it alone. But this is not the time. Open your arms and accept the support that the universe is hurling in your direction. Because you’re going to succeed this year partly because you’re going to work darn hard, but mostly because there are simply amazing people in this world who want your dreams to survive.
Love,
Adriana
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Best post ever. I’m not getting choked up at all over here. Nope, that’s not me. You must be looking at someone else…
)
Thanks, Kylie K! Well, it wouldn’t have been much of a story without your gentle nudge last November…:)
This is just what I needed to read right now. I had a pretty rough time Nov/Dec 2010, and 2009 — so I’ve been writing my(past)self love letters this year too.
I’m so happy to hear your story — sending lots of love to you-then and you-now! Keep up the great work — you’re an inspiration!
xo
Thank you Eleanor! This is the first letter I’ve written to myself, and it really is quite cathartic, isn’t it. I think I plan to write more. I hope things have been on the upswing for you…I’m sending beautiful thoughts and a bear hug in your direction!
Love this. I will never forget hearing from you that day! But things could only go up from there, and I have been so encouraged by the past year in your life
Excited to see what’s next!
Thanks, Hillary! Nowhere but up is right! XOXO
This was so inspiring to read, Adriana. I’ve been researching/using the Law of Attraction, and your experience reminds me so much that the universe brings to us what we want and think about.
Can’t wait to see more of your art and abundance!
I’ll have to look into the Law of Attraction, since I don’t know much about it. Have you found it to be a force in your own life? Thanks for your comment, Mitsu!
This is a really really incredible letter. Talk about manifesting your world. Congrats!
Thank you, Rebecca. Manifesting my world…yes, I like that!
People sense when folks are doing exactly what they were meant to do. It gives the whole world vitamins! You are an inspiration!!! (Really though, I don’t know anyone who put their world back together faster than you did. A COUPLE OF DAYS OF CARB-LOADING AND THEN YOU LIVED YOUR DREAM????)
Thanks, Mom!
I read your blog this morning and then my field advisor at school said, “Think of the other possibility and create it for yourself.” I think I’m supposed to learn a lesson today. I am so happy to have both your voices in my life.
That’s so interesting! I love it when that stuff happens
Wowsa! LOVE this Adriana. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful insights. This is a terrific exercise for everyone!
Thanks, Monica. Means a lot coming from you.
I love this. Thank you.
Thanks for stopping by, Liz!
Great words and awesome reminders. Even when I’m in the “thick of it,” I celebrate every single sale. Still. It never gets old, and it definitely never gets old to talk to each client and learn their story, get to know their special pet, and see it through. It’s so special, and I’m so happy we share that feeling!
Yes, it’s so true! I know you know exactly what I mean
Thanks Adriana! Very inspiring to read your post. I love your paintings
If only shipping wouldn’t be such a big part of the cost, I’d order a portrait for my Lara! Stay strong and know that you have friends in England, too!
Adriana—I was your mom’s Arabic study partner( Bobbi–I am doing the zazzle site under my middle name) and met you while you were still in high school —your art was amazing then also. Just got around to reading this and had to comment. I have been following your posts for awhile now and I just have to say you have the most amazing writing style. It is very upbeat and personalized. This has to be a major gift and really helps support your artwork. I am glad things are working out for you. Keep up the good attitude and the good work.
Hi Bobbi-
Of course I remember who you are! Thank you so much for your kind words…I love your art as well! It’s so wonderful to reconnect with you. I’m sending good energy and warm holiday thoughts in your direction!
I LOVE this! It’s so inspirational and a great reminder for everyone who decides to test the waters in something a little less traditional.