"Sanhita on the beach" is one of the first paintings I ever made.
I took a vacation.
From the blog posts, the tweets, the facebook updates, and my weekly newsletter. From the to do lists, the google calendar alerts, and the etsy posts. From producing art.
I took a vacation from my business. And it wasn’t on the schedule.
Looking back I can see that things had gotten out of hand. I would stuff my google calendar so full of tasks (sometimes literally double booking myself) that I knew there was no hope of staying on schedule. And yet I would be frustrated each night when I wasn’t done.
So I worked harder. But I still came to the end of each day with a nagging sense of failure, and woke each morning with an overwhelming sense of urgency.
Then one day, my brain just said ‘enough.’ Since I couldn’t bear to write a blog post, I played some softball and finished a couple of freelance writing projects instead. Since I couldn’t convince myself to pick up a paint brush, I spent several evenings actually cooking dinner, and went to a story telling event with some friends. I gave myself time to dream about the future. And since there was nothing else I could do, I consciously excused myself from the guilt and panic that inevitably sets in when I start falling behind.
Today, out of the blue, the wonder, the passion, the drive that I felt when I first started selling my art…it all began to flow back. And to my surprise, my business was waiting here patiently for me to return.
I was so terrified of ‘not making it’ as a solopreneur that I never gave myself the time and space I needed to grow into my new creative identity. To break it in like the right pair of jeans. I was convinced that if I wasn’t churning out three blog posts, 1 newsletter, 5 new etsy products and several paintings a week, I was dooming my fledgling business to mediocrity.
When they tell you that starting your own creative business is hard, I always assumed it’s because there’s too much to do and never enough time. But for me, that’s not it at all. The hardest part is making room for me to just be present in my business. To breath it in, to explore its possibilities. To love it and nurture it, and forgive it and myself when we don’t meet our own expectations.
To approach it with a perspective of endless opportunity instead of limited resources.
I know old habits die hard, but sitting here in my kitchen with my glass of nettle tea and a wide open day spread before me, I can’t help but feel a gentle shift.
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Sooo true! Thank you for this awesome reminder!! Gah- running our own businesses is harder than it looks:)
Agreed, Monica. And I love all the self-care tips you share on your blog!
What a lovely inspiring post! I shared this on my Facebook page. As I said there, “you take two steps forward and one step in!” at least when you are doing the right thing in the right way.
–Marcia
Thanks so much! I definitely drew upon your “Quaker inspiration” when drafting this post.
Perfect. I needed that right now.
Thanks for stopping by Kim! Glad it spoke to you
I love this post. It’s honest and simple and sounds very true. Also, I love it when anyone shares that their business process involves working with themselves instead of pounding themselves into submission.
Hi Kylie, and thanks so much. I do remember a certain coach / best friend encouraging me to take more time for self-care, and now I finally see why it’s so important
Wow. This post was just what I needed to read. I overload myself with writing work but still feel like success isn’t happening fast enough. I needed the reminder to just breathe in my business, too. Thanks for this!
P.S. I just discovered your blog and I love it. I love your work, too! Very talented!
Hi Kristin. So glad that this post spoke to you. It’s SO HARD to make time and space for ourselves when we’re solely in charge of our own success. Best of luck in your creative pursuits, and I look forward to staying connected! (And thanks for the compliment of my work!)
Hi Adrianna – I love your site and your paintings, they are beautiful! I am visiting from Makeunder My Life. I was really intrigued by your interview over there bc I’ve often thought about getting into doing pet portraits myself. I have done a couple for friends and family as gifts and they went over well, plus it’s something I find really fun, however was never sure about how to get into it or whether I am talented enough to actually SELL my pieces, etc. But reading your story really inspired me and showed me that you can do it, you just have to DO IT! I still need some practice and self-discipline, but it was nice to at least get some motivation. Thank you and keep up the good work!
Hi Kim- Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words! Now, I might be biased, but I think pet portraits is a totally awesome niche to be in. You should definitely explore it further. Just remember that everyone starts out at the beginning, and there’s no magic formula to follow. It’s just trial and error. And the very first step is just to tell one person what you do
The first time I introduced myself to someone as a pet portrait artist, I was so proud that I went out and bought a celebratory cupcake. Thanks again for your note, and I look forward to seeing where your work takes you!